Nothing says Christmas like tacky Jesus figurines

Toy maker says there is a market for “inspirational” figurines.

So what shape do these “inspirational” figurines take? According to Eric Dyson, founder of Fishermen, Inc,

Why, none other than Jesus with a golden crown of thorns riding a Harley!

I think he looks more like Travis Tritt, but that’s just me.

I just love the robes billowing behind him like a Batman cape.

You also have Jesus playing football wearing a golden crown of thorns,

Who reminds me more of one of my good ole’ boy cousins when the family got together in Arkansas for Thanksgiving or Christmas and all the older boys went out and played football behind my aunt’s house before dinner.

There is also surfer dude Jesus, and as someone who has tried surfing, Jesus would probably do much better if he would take that robe off; but hey, He can walk on water. He may be in danger of loosing that golden crown of thorns.

And of course, there’s homeless Jesus wearing a golden crown of thorns, which, you would think he could sell to make a bit of cash to buy food.

By the way, he does look like some of the homeless guys I have seen standing at the end of off ramps here in L.A.

This of course takes me back a couple of years to another set of “inspirational” figurines produced by a Roman Catholic outfit who display Jesus playing a variety of sports with a couple of pastey white, flabby “Campbell soup children” who otherwise couldn’t play sports unless Jesus played with them,

There’s Jesus playing football in long robes and sandels,

Personally, I would be a bit uncomfortable with the notion of tackling the Son of God to the ground.

And another favorite of mine, the long robe wearing Jesus playing ice hockey,

Make sure if you visit the site, you scan through all the pages with the pictures. The skiing Jesus is also amazing to behold.

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