To: Richard Dawkins
Subject: Evolved Monsters
Please allow me to begin by offering my sincere praise for your contributions to science. Your works educating the world on the glories of evolutionary theory are monumental to say the least. I personally believe “The Blind Watch Maker” should have won you the Nobel prize, but perhaps minds must evolve still more for them to recognize true genius. Where you have done even greater work is with exposing the lunacy of religious thought in your masterpiece, “The God Delusion;” and even though nearly 90 percent of the world’s population is saturated in religious supernaturalism, your book has been the much needed first steps to free mankind from this mental tyranny.
However, sir, I am not writing to you today to merely offer my congratulatory flattery. No. I am writing to express my grave concern over what I know could possibly be the impending doom of all humanity, and this is where we must double – even triple – our efforts to rid the world of religious thinking, most significantly, evangelical Christianity.
I just recently watch Cloverfield with my sons, and after seeing the film, I became disturbed. So much so that I had to do something to take action. You see, in the manner in which mankind so stupidly pollutes the earth with either carbon emissions, or radioactive waste, and even driving SUVs, I am fearful our mindless behavior is impacting our environment to the point of altering the DNA of our world’s lifeforms. We could very well be on the verge of unleashing skyscraper tall, mutated monsters on ourselves. And to think people drive to work every morning not realizing that a 300 meter tall, fire breathing sea terrapin or marine iguana could at any moment crawl out from the Puget Sound and wreck havoc on downtown Seattle. Let us also not forget the swarms of Buick sized, mutated insects and arachnids attacking townships in New Hampshire ensnaring the people and using their bodies as hosts for their larva.
Christians seem to be so “heavenly-minded” that they scoff when I present them these real, scientifically based apocalyptic scenarios. It’s angering, Dr. Dawkins. The evangelicals I speak with (who are rare where I live, thankfully) only care about their Bible studies and right-wing politics. But what good are Bible studies and politics when gigantic acid spitting beetles are tearing through your home, eating your children, and destroying our national monuments? They really will be wishing for a “rapture” when the folly of their environmental irresponsibility returns to literally bite them.
This is why I have turned to enlist you, Dr. Dawkins. I implore you to immediately address this concern. Your prestige and scientific mind can move this reality from being only considered hokum and science fiction to being science fact. We must act quickly and I trust that you, an evolved man, will do the right thing.
Thank you for your time, Dr. Dawkins,
Niles Pinkerton, Ph.D., M.D.
Director of Psychiatrics
University California, Berkeley