AP – Osama bin Laden, mastermind behind the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in New York City and Washington D.C., was surprised to wake up in a horrible Jack Chick-like nightmare moments after he was shot dead this past week.
Eagerly anticipating being welcomed by the open arms of 72 ready and willing virginal concubines, bin Laden was instead roughly grab by two gigantic angelic beings, stripped totally naked, and then forcibly brought before the white throne of a massive, glowing outline of Jesus Christ.
“What is this!!, where are my endless figs and eternal virgins chained to couches!? Where is the prophet(pbuh)?!” shouted a defiant bin Laden, as a large movie screen was lowered from a radiant cloud and replayed all of the intimate, personal details from his life. From his birth to his ultimate demise, everything was laid out clearly before a countless throng of witnesses.
Sentencing came quickly and an angry bin Laden hurled curses and shook his fist as the two angels dragged him away and tossed him into a lake of fire.
No word if bin Laden will attempt an appeal.