A Christian Response to the Parents of a Transgendered Kid

Dear Mrs. McLaren,

My name is Fred Butler and I recently read your open letter to Christians posted at Huffington Post. I am one of those “Christians” you attempt to shame regarding how your gender confused son has allegedly been treated.

Honestly, I am not someone who frequents HuffPo. I was linked to your article from a different page.  I don’t visit HuffPo primarily because many of their posts are on topics I find sophomoric and immature, if not troubling and at times demeaning. For instance, the day I read your letter, linked in the sidebar was an article called “19 Women on the Best Things about Their Boobs.”


I hope you can appreciate the irony of your letter demanding Christians respect your transgendered kid’s sexual orientation linked along side another article sexually objectifying women’s breasts. And that on a leftist website that pretends to champion women’s rights. It’s that kind of reporting that turns me away from the website in the first place. I would imagine most God-fearing Christians you intend to reach with your letter believe the same way as I do, so more than likely you’re merely preaching to the choir with your open letter. Judging by the fist pumping cheerleaders in the comments that sounds exactly like what is happening.

But let me move on.

Before I begin, It may be helpful to clarify what it is a Christian actually believes. When I read your little jab about “buffet-style Christians,” I am working from the assumption you have been told that belief in Christian doctrine, particularly doctrine that defines human sexuality, is often maligned with misinterpretations from cherry-picked passages. If that is what you think, you have been sorely misinformed.

But please forgive me if I am being presumptuous. You may very well know standard Christian theology and doctrine. However, it is just in my experience with individuals critically hostile toward Christianity, especially individuals like yourself willing to publish an open letter taking us to task for our convictions, that I find those folks woefully ignorant when it comes to the Bible or basic Christian teaching. They tend to burn strawmen built from secondhand critical sources that are just as equally ignorant. Rarely have I encountered a critic writing open letters against Christians who accurately reflects what it is they believe. I sincerely get that sense from you when reading your letter.

As a Christian I believe that God exists and that He revealed Himself through His prophets and apostles in the pages of Scripture. I believe Scripture is God’s Word and that means it is infallible and inerrant in all that it records with both history and spiritual truth. (Yes, I realize the internet is filled with cranks and other self-appointed “experts” who have multi-paged websites supposedly refuting my assertion about the Bible, but a serious evaluation of their charges will easily debunk them).

I further believe Jesus was the Second person of the Trinity come in human flesh. He lived a life obedient to God the Father, was predestined by God to be crucified at the hands of both the Romans and the Jews, and then rose again to life three days later to secure eternal salvation for a redeemed people.

I believe all men and women without exception are born in sin, separated from God. That does not mean that all people are entirely given over to wicked depravity, but that their core, spiritual being is naturally hostile toward God and His law. All men are sinners, but they all may not live as sinfully as they could.

I also believe the Bible has a lot to tell us about sexual matters. God is our creator and His original creative design was one man and one woman for marriage for life. Jesus Christ, who is God and thus our creator, affirms in the four Gospels what Genesis 1 and 2 teach us about men and women and marriage. In fact, the NT writers also affirm the same truths. I also completely recognized that the entrance of sin into the world ruins God’s original intent with men, women, sex, marriage and the family. That is evident by the history of abuse, sexual sin, adultery, divorce, fornication, and  yes, homosexual behavior.

Now, coming back to your letter.

You express anger with the name calling and ugly words people have thrown your way regarding your transgendered child. You go onto complain how the worst culprits in your mind are Christians, because Christians are supposed to be loving, compassionate, and non-judgmental to the “least of these” misunderstood people like you and your family, particularly your child.

But given what I just outlined above with basic Christianity, do you understand why Bible-believing Christians would not be so “accepting” of your life choices you are encouraging with your child? In order for me to be “affirming” of a boy becoming a girl, I would have to deny the fundamental truths of Scripture and change the theological commitments of my Christianity.  Not only that, I’d have to deny the fundamental truth of reality that a man cannot become a woman no matter what he “feels.” The Bible is only affirming the truth of reality, and I’m sorry, but those are truths I will never relinquish.

As I pointed out above, you ridicule the “buffet-style Christians,” but why am I, the guy who affirms what has been the conviction of the historic, Christian faith regarding sexuality for the last 2,000 years, the so-called “buffet-style Christian,” whereas the new revisionists who want the Bible to openly affirm homosexuality are not? They are the ones who are truly picking and choosing the verses they want to highlight, or ignore, rather than taking the Bible as a unified, divinely inspired whole in the entirety of all 66 books.

But I think most Christians are disturbed that you want us to accept a transgendered NINE YEAR OLD! Even more to the point, you recount the story of when your son was five, he pitched a fit in the car one day crying that he was really a girl and after a little bit of soul searching and visits with therapists, you have been encouraging your son to be a girl ever since. If he is now nine years old, that means this transgendered fantasy has been going on for like FOUR YEARS! Can you not understand how any sane thinking person, not just Christians, see this as madness! I as a father of five children myself would even say it is parental abuse!

Mrs. McLaren, I honestly think the Christians you are encountering who have a gut-wrenching aversion to your son’s situation are responding not out of hate because they think your family is “icky,” but out of love and concern.  You have only willfully blinded your eyes to the truth.

Ma’am, your son, no matter how much he may protest and claim he “feels” like a girl will never be a girl. He will never have a uterus or ovaries. He will never ovulate and have a period. He will never experience menstrual cramps or what it is to be pregnant and birth a baby. To cultivate his delusion will only serve to set him upon a course of self-destruction.

What is more, you have been feeding this lie for FOUR YEARS with a son who is now NINE YEARS OLD! He hasn’t even reached puberty yet! And all because he had an episode once when he was five insisting he was a girl. It never once occurred to you to tell him he is wrong? To actually pursue therapy? Instead you start calling him a “her,” telling everyone he is your “daughter,” and dressing him like a living doll? What on earth!?

What I find distressing, however, is that you are engaged with perpetrating what I consider to be the cruelest emotional and mental abuse upon your son and I, the Bible-believing Christian who believes God has established marriage between only a man and a woman and that people can never swap genders no matter how they “feel” about it, is the bad guy. Even more grievous is that our society pats you on the back and applauds your abuse. It truly is a twisted world we are living in these days.

Now. I understand what I wrote is blunt. You are more than likely disgusted with me right now. I am nothing more than another hater cursing your family. I also know there will probably be people coming to you later after they read this letter apologizing to you and telling you that I “don’t represent true Christianity” or that I am a fundamentalist that can be ignored or waving me off in some dismissive fashion.  When they do, know that they are liars and do not love you. Contrary to what you may be thinking about me right now after reading this, I do care for you. I am grieved for your situation and indignant that no one has apparently taken the time to outline the truth of the matter to you.

My prayer is that God’s Spirit will break through to the hearts of your family and bring you to salvation. He can do such a miracle. Your son does not have to be enslaved to his fantasy like he is now. That is the reason Christ came to dwell among us. He, being the God-man not only restores our sin broken relationship with God the Father, but He redeems people to live life as God intended to live. Christ can redeem your son as He can redeem everyone in your family. He is a saving God who grants not only eternal life, but deliverance from sin and inordinate affections.


26 thoughts on “A Christian Response to the Parents of a Transgendered Kid

  1. Real blind faith, obviously this guy is an uneducated indoctrinated fanatic and way out of touch with real people in the real world. This letter is providing more fuel for the rejection of God and the growing atheist community.

  2. There is no growing atheist community. The community only gives off that appearance because there is an vocal online social media presence. Atheism as a belief system still comprises a miniscule number of true adherents.

    Funny thing though is how you the atheist, who is so stridently confident regarding Darwinian biology will genuinely attempt to argue that biological sexual identity is different from “gender.” Talk about blind faith. It shows me how your own worldview is becoming corrupted by postmodernist nonsense.

  3. Outstanding response, Fred!

    (spelling issue that some Leftist will probably task you for as canceling out your whole argument is 5th to last paragraph “Mam” should be “Ma’am” – abbreviated “Madam.”)

  4. Thanks. I’ll switch it immediately. Heaven forbid I upset the wackos attempting to overturn the foundation of nature over a spelling error.

  5. I just saw a recent claim by a LEFTIST where he said a commenter’s argument was invalid because he got a historical date wrong. I asked the LEFTIST how that person’s argument was invalid just because of an error in a date, and he never responded — go figure!

  6. Hi Fred!
    Thanks for this post, it’s a good example of parents who are so weak (and foolish) bowing to the child. But I do have a “negative”. Being a woman is not about a uterus or ovaries or having a baby.. (it’s true we mainly have those things) but, wouldn’t you agree that it’s much more than that? I’ve read the secular objections of feminists who repeat these same arguments and I find them, well, sophomoric (and a little TMI)! When Bruce Jenner says he “feels” like a woman, heck, what? When a woman says she “feels” like a man, say what? Seriously, I have NO CLUE sometimes what my husband is thinking, let alone FEELING at any given moment. It’s not just about biology, there is something deeper that God has made us so different, so innately “other” that, when we do marry it does feel like a completion. Someone completely “other” can only “feel” the caricature of womanhood or manhood. They can only “playact” the part. This woman’s abuse of her little boy is obviously a sure sign of her sinfulness rather than it is the child’s, she can only help him play pretend and playact, ( I was thinking a spanking would’ve been more appropriate for that tantrum) but he will always be a boy/man.. no matter what happens. I don’t have children, not by choice, and some would try to say I was “less” of a woman for that, but we know that’s not true. God made them, Male and Female. No matter what the fallen world says.

  7. Excellent response! This parent has taken “coddling” to a new, low form. I agree that it is child abuse. Sadly, I’m not even surprised anymore of the utter nonsense that goes on each new day. This mother is so totally deceived and I do pray for her to come to salvation.

  8. “Her risk for suicide is so much higher than the general population because of who she is and she could use all the love and support that you can show her.”

    The link she gave gives a figure of 41% for transgenders who contemplate suicide. With that in mind, what is the most ‘loving’ thing to do? To affirm such a lifestyle, and even cause it to be more widespread, or to point people away from it in a sane and sensible manner?

    Yet another example of

    ‘Woe to those who call evil good
    and good evil,
    who put darkness for light
    and light for darkness,
    who put bitter for sweet
    and sweet for bitter!’

    One might add who exchange love for hatred. This finds an echo in the NT where the apostle Paul writes “they became futile in their thinking and their senseless minds were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, …” where again despite the secular culture claiming it is Christians who have committed intellectual suicide by embracing their faith, the reality is it is the unbeliever who has been abandonned to futile, foolish thinking. In one sense they cease to be able to think in any meaningful sense of the term at all, and I think the letter you linked to is sadly an example of this. The exchange rate for the truth is a lie.

    I don’t accept the ‘woman trapped in a man’s body’ argument, but how could a 5 year old have such a delusion? An adult may choose to believe this an act on it on their own responsibility, but how could any parent be so ruled over by a child that they encourage it down a road where it may have a 41% chance of wanting to kill itself in later life?

  9. The world is not in a black and white mode like your scripture would like to enforce. The planet is full of people born with problems. And it must be asked since you guys are such experts on this issue what is your reasoning that would compelle a man or a woman to change gender or become gay? If you do not have any serious explanations check out on the web where the real work is going on to find the answers.

    Scientists have found even more evidence that sexual orientation is largely determined by genetics, not choice. That’s at least according to a new and groundbreaking study recently published in the journal Psychological Medicine, which details how a study of more than 800 gay participants shared notable patterns in two regions of the human genome – one on the X chromosome and one on chromosome 8.

  10. Seems to me a good spanking at age 5 would have solved a lot of problems.

    And feeling is irrelevant. I feel like eating Cheeros and playing xbox all day. But I don’t.

  11. Pingback: Frenetic Friday | keachfan

  12. Pingback: Answering the Claims of Gay “Christian” Apologetics and Homosexuality in Culture | hipandthigh

  13. Our anonymous commenter from the atheist peanut gallery writes,

    The world is not in a black and white mode like your scripture would like to enforce.

    Reading such cranks like Jerry Coyne and PZ Myers, your atheist pals are not as incline to think the world is not in B&W like you suppose. They are very adamant that it would be much whiter if it were devoid of religious people.

    The planet is full of people born with problems. And it must be asked since you guys are such experts on this issue what is your reasoning that would compelle a man or a woman to change gender or become gay?

    The sin of the heart. But you reject that explanation, though I can back it up with reality.

    Scientists have found even more evidence that sexual orientation is largely determined by genetics, not choice.

    Several problems here. First, that means for the biological evolutionist that such persons are mutations. Meaning they cannot propel the human species into the next generation. They cannot reproduce.

    What you report here deals with homosexuality, not transgenderism.

    There are no reputable studies of any sort that prove that. Citing from online gossip news sources like the Daily Mail or newspapers who are just citing the vague, inconclusive research they just happen to favor is not valid, scientific research. It even goes against scientism’s sacred idea of “peer review.” It would be worth your time to just read the critical comments under the articles you link.

    And then, what’s to say that pedophilia is not a genetic orientation?

  14. Who the hell are Jerry Coyne and PZ Myers, I have never read any of their stuff?

    You say “The sin of the heart. But you reject that explanation, though I can back it up with reality.”

    Mutations of the limbs are obviously not a sin of the heart? Therefore why would you insist mutation associated with the brain is a “sin of the heart” (which I take this term to mean this is solely a choice of the person involved) and please show me the reality of a credible scientific report to prove this?

    I definitely understand that gay or transgender people may not reproduce with the opposite sex and if it were to become an overwhelming mutation the population may slow and decrease, however as it is common for animals to have mutations physically and mentally that usually number in such a small percentage it does not register such concerns.

    Homosexuality and transgenderism are both sexual abnormalities and you may be correct about paedophilia being a genetic consequence similar to the ones they are finding in violent criminals genetic variants: CDH13 and MAOA, a.k.a. the “warrior gene.”

    I take your point that the research is not yet considered 100%, however there is so much interest in this science that it is researched worldwide and will continue until it can be used to accurately determine many different types of diseases even before a child is born. The Australian newspaper I can vouch for is well-known and not regarded as a gossip news source. Progress in this field of science so far is much more than gossip or vague inconclusive research.

  15. SKL, such studies have been debunked. Numerous twin studies (you know, identical twins with same genes) have demonstrated the fallacy of the claim of genetics being to blame.

    But let’s say hypothetically that genes do have an effect; they would be genetic mutations, malformed, since the normal condition is heterosexuality. Secondly, even if one has genetic disposition toward homosexual sex (or bestiality, or pedophilia, or necrophilia, et al), no one is forced to act on such desires. Everyone is born with sinful desires but no one is forced to act on any of them. Sexual behavior is always a choice.

  16. Glen, Genetics is not an exact science just yet and it is in the early stages considering what is not yet known about them. People who become criminals, rapists, murderers, drug addicts, alcoholics, compulsive gamblers, obese, depressed etc. for example. Are not fully in control of their destiny. There is some solid evidence that shows that genetics play a part in all these and many other human afflictions. These are widely recognised by many responsible medical and educational organisations.

    Your statement about no one is forced to act on such desires and sexual behaviour is always a choice is too simplistic. A normal heterosexual naturally desires the opposite sex and is repulsed by the thought to sexually engage with the same sex, therefore to have the complete opposite desire suggests there must be more to it such as genetic and environmental reasons involved as suggested below.

    Source: https://www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/biological-foundations-of-psychology-3/genetics-and-behavior-31/the-influence-of-genes-on-behavior-137-12672/

    It is difficult to ascertain whether genetics (“nature”) or the environment (“nurture”) has the stronger influence on behaviour. It is generally believed that human behaviour is determined by complex interactions of both nature and nurture.

    Source: http://web.stanford.edu/~wine/202/g-and-b.html

    Does human behaviour have a genetic component? The answer to that question is controversial in part because ethical and legal issues make controlled studies of human behaviour difficult to devise. However, the evidence for a genetic component in human behaviour is overwhelming in spite of that limitation.

  17. You play into the secular faux-science of psychology, which attempts to absolve people of their responsibility for their behaviors. Sorry, but that is just bunk – everyone has the ability to choose what their behaviors will be. No one is compelled to murder, to steal, to have sex, etc. It is not simplistic at all.

    Nurture has been demonstrated too often to be the strongest influence on behavior; you do what you learn.

    Let’s ask the homosexuals themselves if they really think it’s genetic:

    Is there a “gay gene”?

    Twin studies prove no “gay gene”

    The evidence that homosexuality is chosen is abundant, and I could provide many links for you to demonstrate such. But you wouldn’t be convinced and will still continue to defend your anti-God beliefs and sexual deviance. You are not teachable due to your anti-God ideology. I don’t have time to waste on such fruitless discussions.

  18. What the child needed was an old fashioned trip to the woodshed. Followed by a robust thrashing with a hickory switch the diameter of a broomstick (or my Paws favorite, a six-inch leather strap about three foot long). I think we can ALL agree that any gender “confusion” would be settled. Quickly. When you can’t sit down for a week, the lesson tends to leave a deep impression.

    The Supreme courts just ruled that using a switch is legal by the way. Rejoice! The pendelum is swinign back slowly.

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